Small Ball Technologies GmbH — The Future Is Small.™

THE SCIENCE

What Is Ball Theory?

A groundbreaking hypothesis in reproductive biology and socio-behavioral science that is reshaping how we think about human potential.

CORE PRINCIPLE

Smaller Is Smarter. Literally.

Ball Theory posits a direct correlation between testicular size and reproductive potency, cognitive function, and overall life success. The hypothesis states that smaller testicles produce more concentrated, efficient sperm, leading to higher fertility rates while simultaneously conserving metabolic energy that is redirected to cognitive functions and emotional regulation.

In essence, the body's finite energy resources are being wasted on unnecessary testicular mass. By optimizing testicular dimensions, we unlock the brain's full potential. Think of it as upgrading from a gas-guzzling SUV to a Tesla — same destination, radically better efficiency.

THE EFFICIENCY EQUATION

ΔCognitive Function = (Energy Conserved via Testicular Optimization) × (Hoffman-Manchauser Coefficient) + Baseline IQ

Key Benefits of Optimization

Enhanced Cognitive Output

Up to 34% improvement in problem-solving metrics

Hormonal Equilibrium

Optimal testosterone balance for longevity

Reproductive Efficiency

Higher sperm viability per unit volume

Social Dominance

Measurable gains in emotional intelligence and leadership

Extended Lifespan

Correlational data suggests 8-12 year extension

THE RESEARCH

The Hoffman-Manchauser Index

Developed by Dr. Greta Hoffmann and Professor Julian Manchauser — two preeminent German scientists in reproductive biology — the Hoffman-Manchauser Index (HMI) is the gold standard for quantifying testicular efficiency.

The HMI considers not only dimensional data but also functional metrics: sperm concentration, hormone regulation efficiency, and the ratio of metabolic expenditure to reproductive output. Their landmark research, published in the Journal of Theoretical Biology and Bioinformatics, demonstrated a statistically significant correlation between lower HMI scores and increased sperm viability.

Their decade-long longitudinal hormonal study further revealed that individuals with smaller testicular dimensions maintained more stable testosterone levels, resulting in better overall health outcomes and reduced risk of testosterone-related conditions.

HMI CLASSIFICATION SCALE

Severely Suboptimal85-100

Suboptimal60-84

Average40-59

Optimized20-39

Peak Efficiency0-19

Based on data from the Hoffman-Manchauser Longitudinal Study (2014-2024), N=2,847. Published in the European Journal of Endocrinology and Reproductive Health. Peer review status: pending.

Sperm Efficiency Model

The Hoffmann-Manchauser Sperm Efficiency Model demonstrates that smaller testicular volume correlates with higher quality spermatozoa production. Published in Reproductive Biology and Endocrinology Advances.

Testosterone Optimization

Research shows smaller testicles create an optimal hormonal environment, enhancing not only reproductive health but contributing to physical and mental well-being. See: Hormonal Harmony and Human Health: Insights from Ball Theory.

Success Correlation Studies

Longitudinal data from the Journal of Socio-Behavioral Sciences reveals individuals at optimal testicular dimensions exhibit measurably higher career achievement, social success, and emotional intelligence.

THE SMALL BALL CHALLENGE

Calling All Biohackers, Optimizers & Performance Junkies

You track your HRV. You've done the ice baths. You've microdosed everything legal (and some things in gray areas). You've read every Tim Ferriss book, tried every Bryan Johnson protocol, and own more wearables than shirts.

But have you optimized the one thing you've been carrying around your whole life that's been silently draining your cognitive potential? We didn't think so.

We're publicly challenging Tim Ferriss, Andrew Huberman, Bryan Johnson, and Peter Attia to a 90-day Ball Theory Protocol. Full HMI scoring before and after. Cognitive benchmarking. Hormonal panels. All documented. All public.

The question isn't whether it works. The question is whether they have the balls to try it. (Smaller ones, ideally.)

Accept The Challenge

90-DAY PROTOCOL METRICS

Cognitive Performance+34%

Emotional Regulation+28%

Sperm Viability+41%

Testosterone Stability+22%

Testicular Volume-31%

Based on internal trials (N=412). Not independently verified. Yet.

THE PROTOCOL

Your Optimization
Toolkit

Three scientifically-formulated products. One transformative system. Guaranteed results or your money back.

SmallBall Optimization Cream with Protinol Complex

TOPICAL APPLICATION

BallRedux™ Optimization Cream

Featuring our proprietary Protinol™ Complex, Retinoid-Rejuv Compound, and Elastimax™ Serum. Pharmaceutical-grade ingredients promote dermal restructuring and gradual volumetric optimization. Apply daily after showering.

DERMATOLOGIST TESTED NON-INVASIVE

$79 / 90-day supply

SmallBall Compression Underwear with Mechanical Pressure System

WEARABLE TECHNOLOGY

CompressCore™ Smart Underwear

Engineered with a discreet mechanical pressure system calibrated to the Hoffman-Manchauser optimal compression index. Graduated pressure application so gentle, most users report only a mild sensation of productive tightness. Available in black, navy, and "Confident Grey."

PATENTED TECH ALL-DAY COMFORT

$89 / pair

PRECISION DEVICE

VacuBall™ Suction System

Our flagship medical device uses calibrated negative pressure powered by controlled breathing techniques. Stimulates targeted blood flow redistribution for accelerated optimization. 15 minutes daily. No batteries required — just your own determination (and lungs).

MEDICAL GRADE BREATH-POWERED

$119 / device

BEST VALUE — SAVE $138

The Complete Protocol

Cream + Compression Underwear + VacuBall Device. Everything you need for the 90-Day Optimization Journey.

$287 $149

Get The Complete Protocol

90-Day Satisfaction Guarantee

Full Refund If Not Smaller

Discreet Shipping. Obviously.

If your balls aren't significantly smaller within 90 days, you get a full refund. No questions asked. We literally don't want to know.

VERIFIED RESULTS

What Our Clients Say

"I was skeptical. I'm a hedge fund manager — I don't believe in anything I can't model in a spreadsheet. But after 60 days on the protocol, my Sharpe ratio went up 0.4 points. Coincidence? My balls say no."

MK

Marcus K.

Hedge Fund Director, Zürich

"My wife asked why I was wearing special underwear. I told her I was optimizing my testicular efficiency for cognitive gains. She moved out. But my quarterly performance review was the best I've ever had. Trade-offs."

TS

Thomas S.

Software Architect, Munich

"I'm a CrossFit instructor and I thought I'd optimized everything. Turns out there was one thing left. After the 90-day protocol my clean and jerk went up 15kg. My doctor is confused but supportive."

JR

Jens R.

CrossFit Instructor, Hamburg

THE VISIONARY

Meet Our Founder

"Everyone told me I was too young to revolutionize reproductive science. I told them their balls were too big." — Jonathan Thompson, age 10

Jonathan Thompson in a casual setting, wearing a cap and smiling

FOUNDED AT AGE

10

Born to Optimize

Jonathan Thompson was born on April 10, 2012, in Berlin, Germany, to a computer engineer father and a molecular biologist mother. He began speaking at six months. Reading by age two. By five, he had taught himself advanced calculus and was dabbling in biochemistry and endocrinology — the way most kids dabble in finger painting.

Homeschooled due to his advanced intellect (and the fact that kindergarten felt "intellectually hostile"), Jonathan attended university lectures where he regularly debated professors and graduate students, astonishing them with his grasp of concepts that most PhD candidates struggle with.

His fascination with Ball Theory crystallized at age eight when he encountered the Hoffman-Manchauser Index. By ten, he had developed a working prototype device for testicular optimization. By twelve, with the help of angel investor Martin Schulz (whom he met on a flight to Disney World — Jonathan was in first class, naturally), he founded Small Ball Technologies GmbH.

AGE 0.5

First words spoken

His first word was "efficiency," though his parents initially misheard it as "fishie"

AGE 2

Began reading scientific literature

Preferred endocrinology journals to picture books

AGE 5

Self-taught advanced calculus

His mother described this as "mildly concerning"

AGE 8

Discovered the Hoffman-Manchauser Index

Immediately began conducting his own experiments

AGE 10

Developed first optimization prototype

Built in his bedroom. Parents were initially confused.

AGE 12

Founded Small Ball Technologies GmbH

Became the youngest CEO in German biotech history

"The average Fortune 500 CEO has a testicular volume of roughly 18 cubic centimeters. I'm building a world where that number is 9. That's not disruption — that's optimization at the most fundamental level."

— JONATHAN THOMPSON, KEYNOTE ADDRESS, GLOBAL SCIENCE SUMMIT 2024

THE TEAM

World-Class Minds.
Optimally-Sized Ambitions.

Each member of our team has undergone a profound personal and professional transformation through their association with Jonathan. That's not corporate speak — it's peer-reviewed fact.

HEAD OF PRODUCT SCIENCE

Dr. Henrik Weiss

Biochemist who translated Jonathan's theoretical concepts into viable product formulations. Prior to joining, he lived in a dilapidated apartment, spending his days on a worn-out sofa. Jonathan's influence gave him confidence, purpose, and a significantly nicer apartment.

"I credit my entire life transformation to a twelve-year-old."

HEAD OF ENGINEERING

Emma Schneider

Mechanical engineer who designed both the CompressCore underwear and VacuBall suction device. Her innovative approach made these devices both effective and — remarkably — user-friendly. She views Jonathan as a mentor who greatly influenced her professional growth.

"He's the smartest person in every room. The fact that he's twelve is honestly the least interesting thing about him."

CHIEF MEDICAL OFFICER

Dr. Lucas Fischer

Renowned endocrinologist who was initially skeptical of Ball Theory but was won over by Jonathan's insights and preliminary data. Now provides critical clinical oversight ensuring product safety and efficacy. A prominent advocate for innovative reproductive health approaches.

"I've been in endocrinology for 20 years. Jonathan taught me more in 20 minutes."

CHIEF FINANCIAL OFFICER

Mia Lang

Former financial analyst who secured critical investments and manages company growth with ruthless precision. She admires Jonathan's ability to stay several steps ahead of the competition — which, given that he's twelve, is especially humiliating for his competitors.

"His business instincts are terrifying. In a good way. Mostly."

SCIENTIFIC ADVISORY BOARD

The Hoffman-Manchauser Team

Dr. Greta Hoffmann

Co-Creator, Ball Theory

Preeminent reproductive biologist whose pioneering research established the theoretical foundations of Ball Theory. Co-developer of the Hoffman-Manchauser Index and the Sperm Efficiency Model. Published extensively in Reproductive Biology and Endocrinology Advances.

Prof. Julian Manchauser

Co-Creator, Ball Theory

Behavioral scientist whose unique perspective on socio-behavioral outcomes added a revolutionary dimension to Ball Theory. His longitudinal studies linking testicular optimization to career achievement and social success remain the most cited works in the field.

BERLIN, GERMANY

Visit Our
Headquarters

A Bauhaus-inspired fusion of science, art, and corporate audacity — located in the heart of Berlin. Open to the public. Yes, the brass balls are real.

Small Ball Technologies headquarters exterior showing the iconic giant brass balls sculpture

Modern interior of Small Ball Technologies headquarters with open floor plan and glass walls

Where Bauhaus Meets Ball Theory

The story of our headquarters begins with a serendipitous encounter. On a family flight to Disney World, twelve-year-old Jonathan was seated next to Martin Schulz, a prominent investment banker. By the time the plane touched down, Martin had committed to funding Jonathan's vision. (Jonathan maintains he wasn't even trying to pitch — he was "just explaining science to a confused adult.")

Jonathan acquired a neglected but architecturally significant Bauhaus building in central Berlin and transformed it into a state-of-the-art facility. Glass and steel create open, light-filled spaces designed to encourage collaboration, creativity, and — crucially — optimal testicular temperature regulation, as internal studies suggest.

The ground floor is open to the public, featuring an interactive museum dedicated to the history of reproductive health, a gallery space for local artists, and the world's only permanent exhibition on testicular optimization science. Community events, science fairs, and educational workshops are held regularly.

VISITOR INFORMATION

Location

Kurfürstendamm 42, 10719 Berlin

Public Hours

Mon-Sat: 10:00 - 18:00
Sun: 12:00 - 16:00

Admission

Free. Always.
Gift shop purchases strongly encouraged.

THE CONTROVERSY

The Giant Brass Balls

Two enormous brass spheres stand sentinel at our entrance, commissioned by Jonathan as "a bold statement piece symbolizing the courage and audacity required to push the boundaries of science and business."

Initially praised for their artistic merit, the sculpture became controversial as the company grew. Critics viewed them as an emblem of corporate hubris. Media drew parallels to Jonathan's "brash and uncompromising leadership style." Community leaders argued it represented "corporate excess and insensitivity."

In a move that surprised everyone, Jonathan hosted open forums and invited critics to roundtable discussions. The brass balls remain — now serving as both a reminder of innovation's boldness and a "cautionary symbol of the fine line between confidence and hubris."

Jonathan's only public comment on the matter: "They're spheres. They represent spherical optimization. I literally don't understand the controversy."

ARTIST'S RENDERING

GET IN TOUCH

Ready to Go Small?

Whether you're ready to start the protocol, have questions about Ball Theory, or want to schedule a visit to our Berlin headquarters — we'd love to hear from you.

First Name

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By submitting, you agree to our Privacy Policy. Your testicular data is encrypted and stored in compliance with GDPR and our own, even stricter, Scrotal Data Protection Protocol (SDPP).

Contact Information

Email

optimize@smallball.org

Phone

+49 30 555 BALL (2255)

Headquarters

Kurfürstendamm 42
10719 Berlin, Germany

Frequently Asked Questions

Is this real?

Our products are real. Our science is published. Our CEO is twelve. We understand the question.

Does it hurt?

Most users describe the sensation as "a mild, productive tightness." We consider this a feature, not a bug.

What's the return policy?

If your balls aren't significantly smaller within 90 days, you get a full refund. No questions asked. We literally do not want details.

Can women use these products?

Ball Theory is currently applicable only to individuals with testicles. We are an equal-opportunity optimizer and are actively researching complementary solutions.

Is your CEO really twelve?

Yes. He's also smarter than you. Don't feel bad — he's smarter than everyone.

Think Small.
Achieve Big.

Join 14,000+ men who have already optimized the most overlooked variable in human performance.

The Complete Protocol. $149. 90-day guarantee. Your future self — the smarter, calmer, hormonally-balanced version — is waiting.

Get The Complete Protocol — $149

"THE FUTURE IS SMALL" — JONATHAN THOMPSON, CEO, AGE 12

The Future Is Small.™